20/52 - Growing up in the Depression
I found some writing by my mom in her things and thought I would post some of her thoughts….
-----
When the Depression struck, everybody was cashing everything in and the banks called in all their loans. My father apparently had a margin balance of $125,000. What person or bank in their right mind would have given him 125,000 worth of credit to buy stocks? Of course, he didn't have it, and I'm surprised he didn't just hightail it out of town and not let anybody know where he was.
My mother would cover for my father by making excuses when he would vanish. Doug [her brother] and I really didn't know anything; we were just kids.The lack of a relationship with my father made more of an impact on Doug than it did on me, because I had a better relationship with my mother then he had. It just didn't seem that abnormal not to have a father living in the house, because she covered for him.
I give her credit. As far as I can remember, she never said anything bad about him, even when he had been away and she was having trouble feeding her children. She never voiced those things to Doug and me. My mother worked hard to support us. I'm sure I didn't really appreciate it at the time. Amidst all this she never bad-mouthed my father. She was a strong, independent, loving person, and from her I think I've received my need for independence.
My mother and her family were the best parts of my youth. Holidays were shared with my brother and my mom, because my father was not around. They instilled in me the need for a close loving family and my desire to have this. My father was significant in that he was not a significant factor in my everyday life. I did not know in those years that my father had really split with my mother - resulting in a divorce years later.
When my mother went to register Doug for first grade -- there was no public kindergarten at the time -- the nun said, "Well why don't you register this one too?” Doug and I wound up in the same grade, even though he was older. On top of that, later on he was left back 6 months. I'm sure that it had a bearing on how the rest of his school years went, don't you think?
I eventually graduated grammar school in June and then he graduated a year and a half later in January because they had graduation twice per year. I went to a Catholic high school. normally they would have charged my mother $7 a month for my presents at that Catholic high school. but because she pleaded poverty, she got it for $5 a month.
Doug and I didn't go to the same high school. My high school was all girls. Doug went to a very well-known public high school. Except, that is, when he didn't go. One time I took a day off because I wasn't feeling well. Later in the day I walked up toward the park and there was Doug coming down the other way. I asked him, "Oh, what are you doing here?” And he said, “I thought I'd take a walk." We went our separate ways for the rest of that day. and I don't know if he told my mother about it or said anything.
I think no matter what Doug did, it wasn't going to be good enough. It's so sad when someone feels that way. My mother did favor me. On the other hand, Doug wanted to have an argument over everything. If you said to him, “It looks like it's going to rain today,” he'd respond, “No, I don't think so.”
It was kind of funny in a way but at the time I think that's why when he was 17, he decided to go with the Navy and didn’t finish high school. In order to enlist, he needed his birth certificate. When he got the birth certificate, he noticed that his birthday was in April rather than in August as he had always celebrated. My mother’s attitude was, “It happened a long time ago. I can't do anything about it now.”
-----
Five previous posts in the series…
19/52 - Finding my Irish Great Grandparents
https://www.searchformygrandparents.com/home/1952-finding-my-irish-great-grandparents
18/52 - Sliding Doors - 4 - The Aftermath
https://www.searchformygrandparents.com/home/1852-sliding-doors-4-the-aftermath
17-52 - Sliding Doors - 3 - When Worlds Collide
https://www.searchformygrandparents.com/home/17-52-sliding-doors-3-when-worlds-collide
16/52 - Pieces of an Irish Puzzle - 1
https://www.searchformygrandparents.com/home/1652-pieces-of-an-irish-puzzle-1
15/52 - Sliding Doors (2) - Prologue
https://www.searchformygrandparents.com/home/1552-sliding-doors-2-prologue
